Entrepreneursh*t changed his life


I just didn’t want to be like those boys, boys from which grow men,
boys that become married, proudly owning a regular forgotten piece of land.

Land, where my wife would temporarily whisper in my ear every evening: darling, I wish you a good night.
Land, where unexpectedly born children would look into my eyes every evening and in their yet life unfulfilled minds whisper: Daddy loves me.
Land, where a human being supposed to be the head of the family would enjoy an exotic holiday in the Maldives but would return every evening back to his own blood with a bad mood.

The effort to gain strength to change,
enabling him to be thankful for just a slight hint of a smile on his face.
He would be thankful for just a slight hint of happiness in his eyes.

He couldn’t do it.
He couldn’t try anymore.
He knew it.
He felt it.

It would all be lies.

Next to him in the room, two dark souls, innocently sleeping, behind them a tired wife, lying in the bath. Lisa.
Her husband calls her Lis. He looks at himself in the mirror.
A reflection of a familiar man, who doesn’t know who he truly is.

Just a body.
Just a daddy.
Just a husband.
Just a never-ending destroying 9-5 job.
Just a temporary movie,sitting on the sofa.
Just the one exciting weekend in the whole year.
Just a safe car, voluntarily protecting the passengers from the spontaneous attack of a bear.
Just an amount of money, like the world demand for honey.
Just a bank, in case of arrears, ready to destroy me like an armoured soviet tank.

For those around me a great life.
For me the reason why I don’t even have a wife.

They, wanting from themselves so little.
They, wanting from others so much.

I, wanting so much from myself.
I, wanting so little from others.

It appeared just like a desire.
A feeling somewhere in my heart.
I needed to find someone, who would show me how to begin.

So, I put all my money into business.
Currently, the only acceptable solution and easily accessible solution how to gain more than less.

No prior experience.
No vision.

I put everything on intuition.
I educated myself.
I motivated myself.

The willingness to undertake all those necessary steps, like young women in the gym, training their abdomen. Repetition after repetition.
They do it for their health.
I did it for wealth.

It went on for years. Long years.
I gave up any form of satisfaction from the crowd.
Clothes, travelling, cars, career, relationships.

No colourful diagram.
No interesting photo uploaded to Instagram.

I worked so hard.
I played my own game like Frank Lampard.

I sacrificed something for something.
My feelings in the beginning.

I sacrificed something for nothing.
I sacrificed the present moment for a better future.
That future never arrived.

I put everything on intuition, coming not from my own opinion.
I lost everything.
I failed the same way as the father of Charles Dickens.

Once upon a time I used to call in entrepreneurship.
These days I use just one word: entreprenuershit.