Guess who received the juicy lollipop?
He who helped grandma pick up the metal tea top.
Guess who received a small piece from the wedding cakes?
He who served loyally, no matter what it takes.
Maybe just a way to improve my mood.
Maybe just a way how to make me do good.
Or just an effort to teach me to undergo something hard.
Before you receive a sweet reward.
Why have I never received a rose?
Who knows… Unhealthy practices discovered during childhood?
They continued, mmm crazy adulthood.
Loud alarm, set to go off in the early morning.
Dear hero, you deserve a black sugar drink.
Trickling sweat, stuck t-shirt, last push up.
Dear hero, you deserve thick chips with German ketchup.
Hell came with the duty to find a job.
Ensuring a ticket to the arena, like a real snob.
Dark mornings, short nights.
Entire existence controlled by lights.
Memories of the first paycheck.
Thankfully able to repair the ugly wreck.
Light, fancy, attractive shoes.
Biggest reward for an unfair snooze.
Eagerly jumping into this routine.
Holding you from the bottom, stronger than nicotine.
Investing coins on sport bets.
Investing coins on cotton closets.
Obsession to raise impression.
Despite a non-sexy profession.
Chest covered with prestigious names.
The soul crying through hairy veins.
MMM. Such a stupid philosophy.
Like a handful of mustard mixed with a cup of coffee.
I wasted lots of money.
You know what, it is not funny.
Limited, fragile gift.
Exchanged for an exhausting shift.
Looking behind my back.
Gave me chills, to put down the silver jewel embracing my thin neck.
Random meeting with unknown personalities.
Opened a gate of serious responsibilities.
To have knowledge what it means to be gross.
To have courage to become your own boss.
A new attitude brought new goals.
No more buying dresses for unauthentic dolls.
To belong to those, eating desert with a silver spoon.
Nothing, just saving for.
Later, one signature, liberating waving.
I wish to be able to foresee what would happen with all my savings.
Lost connection with nuggets.
I stopped labelling myself as a hero.
Since I had to start from zero.
A dumb cowboy, saddling the same horse.
No surprise, things got worse.
Desperate, without faith to fill the empty interior space.
Without the interest to spend time outside, to share a saddened face.
A habit, to shout out future plans.
Failure taught me to hide all emotions, more thoroughly than
a desert hiding rare gems.
Maybe because of that some shadows label me – introvert.
A deeper investigation would reveal – the person does not want to be hurt.
I can’t walk into a crowd.
My eyes are too loud.
Despite of the fact, the heart beating for a different vision.
I made a common decision.
To wear a uniform approved by strict triggers.
Needing my eight hours, to earn seven figures.
Surrounded by hunters, chasing numbers.
Bringing power to build a mountain higher than thunders.
My body, in the middle of a fire.
Soaring higher and higher.
But still most productive.
But still praised with an adjective.
A deeper meaning than a molo for fashion.
A great opportunity to discover a new passion.
Maybe, not a place where I meet my future wife.
But a field, where I grow fruit, providing prosperity for the rest
of my life.
Not standing on a teak floor.
Sometimes, the desire to not open a familiar door.
To write a brief letter.
Thank you for your faith, I found something better.
Thankfully, it keeps me busy, a playful toy.
Stabbing poison, absorbed joy.
Cube, where a team, I, am a part of something.
Where the weirdo means more than nothing.
Me, colleagues, working for the same company purpose.
Despite of the truth, different things making us nervous.
This, this sentence.
I’m lying, it makes no sense.
I’m leaving the cube, tired.
Wishing to be fired.
At least I’d have more energy, willpower.
To develop my own art, far from the glass tower.
Applying colours on a fresh canvas.
To lead dialogues with growing grass.
To have no boss.
To not be my own boss.
Flying freely like a simple bird.
Freed from exhausting shiny dirt.
Or, to build a humble tent, living naked in a forest.
Retreat from the demons that used to make me stressed.
To discover possibilities.
How to leave responsibilities.
For those, dependant on my existence.
For those, comfortable to catch an open chance.
To only eat strawberries.
To test the endurance of skinny knees.
To dance between raindrops.
Keeping disconnected from all apps.
To throw away the half empty credit card.
To create a wild pencil and write heartfelt messages to my heart.
Lying calmly, no thoughts about unwanted bills.
To spread a smile, without sticky pills.
MMM. This crazy imagination.
Causing problems to its own foundation.
Yeah. I could call boss and whisper – no more.
Truth is, if I’d do it, I’d stay completely alone.
Like a piano.
Piano, known by everybody, but not understood by anybody.
Where everybody around evaluates the previous two days.
An affair in the cinema.
Everybody chanting, I am silent.
Because of my self-isolation at a local hostile island.
Where I create my own uncertain future.
With a happy leader, the opposite of a moocher.